Saying Goodbye (One Shot)
by NALEY23alwaysforever
Summary: She didnt want to say goodbye. She knew she had to. She also knew she'd have them, both of them, by her side. That made it a little easier. Erin dealing with Nadia's funeral linstead and Voight mainly


**Saying a Goodbye (one shot) **

**A/N: so this is sort of a linstead one shot but not really romantic. It's more about nadias funeral and jay and Voight helping her through saying goodbye. Hope you like it, and are you all as upset as I am at how nadia was killed off!? I could've dealt if she had gotten shot or something but she didn't deserve that death.**

The light from the window shone through the room, waking Jay from his slumber.

He woke disoriented, trying to figure out where he was, when he saw her.

Erin.

She was wrapped in his arms, her head on his chest. She hadn't been able to sleep in her house alone since Nadia's death, the constant reminders of her lost friend surrounding her. She had been staying with jay at his place for the past three days, watching her, making sure she was eating - a mission in itself - and helping her prepare for today.

Nadia's funeral.

He slowly slipped out of bed and headed towards the kitchen as he did these past few mornings and started preparing breakfast. He had just finished up the bacon and eggs when Erin emerged.

She sat down on the bar stool and picked up the coffee jay had poured himself and took In a large sip, almost inhaling the drink. Jay sat down next to her and placed the plate in front of her as he ate. He watched as Erin slowly shifted her fork through the food, occasionally taking a minuscule portion into her mouth. He sighed as he pushed his plate away from him and turned to look at her.

"If you don't start eating I'm going to have to feed you myself, and you won't like that." Jay tried to joke. Erin let a small smile fill her face, the first smile in days.

"I'll try ok?" She replied as she placed a fork full of food in her mouth.

Jay took her hand in his and kissed the inside of her wrist. "You nervous?" He said looking into her eyes.

"I don't know. I just...don't think I'm prepared for how sad today will be." She replied

"It will be. But I'll be there, and so will Voight. And the rest of the team. We're all here for you." He spoke.

Erin nodded and they finished eating in a peaceful silence.

Erin went to have a shower while Jay cleared washed their plates. He input the number and placed his phone in between his shoulder and cheek so he could speak and clean.

"Halstead" Voight's gruff voice spoke down the line. "How is she?"

"She's doing alright. I got her to eat a bit more and she smiled. It's not much but-"

"It's better than yesterday" Voight interrupted "what time am I picking you both up?"

"The ceremony is at 2 but erin wanted to be there at 1. She's meeting nadia's family. If you want I can drive us if you're still busy." Jay replied.

Voight had insisted on closing Nadia's case personally. He and the rest of intelligence had written up the reports and collected all their evidence and statements, they didn't trust IA or anyone else with it.

"It's fine Jay. Just, look after our girl. Call if anything changes." Voight replied

"Will do Hank." Jay replied as she hung up the Phone.

The two had recently waved a white flag in terms of their views on Jay and erin being together. Voight had accepted that Erin needed him as much, if not more, than she needed him. The two agreed that erin needed them both and that was what mattered most.

Jay went to put on his suit and noticed erin wasn't in the room. He knocked on the bathroom door "erin? Er, we gotta go soon." He called through the door, but she didn't reply. He pressed his ear to the wall and that's when he heard her crying.

He opened the door and rushed in. Erin was in a ball on the floor of the shower, her sobs echoing around the glass.

Jay opened the shower door and stepped in, he turned off the shower and scooped erin up in his arms and sat down with her. He rubbed his hand soothingly up and down her back while the other brushed away her tears. He rocked them back and forth, trying to calm her down, but he knew she needed this. She hadn't cried since she'd seen Nadia's body. She hadn't done anything.

After about 20 minutes, Erin's cries subsided and she lifted her head from its place on jays chest. She had now calmed down enough to realise he was fully clothed, his only concern had been her in that moment.

"Sorry" she whispered, signalling to his wet clothes. Jay smiled sadly

"Don't worry about it. You ok?" He asked kissing her forehead.

"No. But it felt good to let it out." She spoke honestly. "I can't do this Jay" she whispered as her lip trembled.

"Do what Er?" He urged her to continue.

"I can't meet them. I can't say goodbye to her. I can't sit there and listen to her family talk about her knowing its my fault in the first place, she shouldn't have been out there but she was because of me!" Erin spoke, her voice rising in pain.

Jay lifted her chin so she had to look at him "hey, None of this is your fault. None of it! Don't you dare blame yourself for what that psychopath did. He did this to her, not you" jay spoke.

"I should've done something" Erin argued "we could've gotten their sooner if I had-"

"If you had what Erin? She slipped out while we were all watching Yates, and she didn't make it back in time. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Don't let Yates do this to you, don't let him break you" jay spoke. After a while he felt Erin's head nod against his chest and he smiled.

"Come on, we need to get ready" Erin spoke as she stood up and wiped her eyes. Jay stood up and grabbed the towel, wrapping it around her and leading her into the bedroom. He waited in the living room until she changed. She walked out of the room and stood before him.

"How do I look?" She asked

"Beautiful" jay responded

Erin had chosen a knee length, black satin dress with a slightly deep v-cut. She had paired it with her plain black heels and a silver necklace with a Purple Heart at the end

"Nadia got it for me for my birthday, along With the necklace. She told me that she instantly thought of me when she saw them" she told him. Jay simply smiled and nodded. He got up and walked towards the bedroom to get ready, kissing her forehead on the way.

...

Hank Voight watched through the glass as Erin talked to Nadia's mother and father. They had lost touch with their daughter years ago after a falling out, and had failed to find her ever since. Erin had refused to have hank or jay come in with her, she said it was something she needed to do herself.

So, here he stood, staring in at Erin with Nadia's grieving mother and father, while he stood outside with Halstead standing next to him.

"So, she smiled today?" Hank filled the awkward silence between the two.

"yeah. She took a slight step back after that, but at the same time I think it helped her to move forward" hay explained to him.

"You know, I told you once I do things without thinking. I take action, and I don't really regret it. Well, I can definitely say I was wrong about you and Erin. You too broke up when you realised I was catching on, and I thought you'd both lose focus, but if anything you've both gotten even better at protecting each other" hank spoke "I was wrong, and I'm sorry. I realise now that you and Erin. You belong together"

Jay smiled "she means everything to me hank, she always has. But honestly, I don't think we'll be together just yet. It means a lot that we have your ... Support, but I think she needs to get through all this first. She needs to focus on herself before she can focus on us"

Hank patted him on the back "I'm glad halstead, 'cause if you hurt her. I'll hurt you"

Jay let out a small chuckle "I know. Nadia said the same thing to me when we first started dating. She told me that Erin was her best friend, her sister, and that if I did anything to hurt her, she'd come after me in my sleep" he felt his heart break as he relived the memory.

Before hank could say anything, Erin and Nadia's parents walked out. They walked towards the ceremony site as Erin walked over to the two men. She gave Voight a hug before wrapping her arms around jay, sliding in under his arm.

"How were they?" Voight asked.

"Grateful" Erin said surprised "I told them everything. Nadia being an escort, intelligence finding her. Everything. And they said that even though she had a rough start, they were glad we were there to help her get through it all"

"See? Even they can see that you helped her Er, none of what happened was your fault. Maybe now you'll start believing it" jay spoke as he kissed Erin's forehead and held her tighter.

"He's right kid. I don't want you thinking like that ok?" Hank spike

Erin nodded, tears threatening to fall as she stood straight, taking hank's hand in one of hers, and Jay's in the other

"Come on. Let's say goodbye" she spoke as they walked towards the ceremony site.

...

The ceremony went quickly. Both jay and hank were asked to read, and Erin spoke a few words about Nadia which had been hard, but she knew that she wanted everyone to know just how much Nadia had meant to her, and how much she had loved her job and her intelligence family.

Nadia's parents hadn't stayed long after that. They joined hank, jay and Erin for dinner after the wake, all reminiscing about their best moments with Nadia, and allowing the three police officers to hear an insight into Nadia's childhood.

It was almost midnight when hank had dropped Erin and Jay off at his house. They quietly changed and jay waited patiently in bed for Erin to return from the bathroom.

She emerged a moment later in jay's Black Hawks shirt, her favourite shirt.

They both cuddled up in bed, Erin's head resting on jays shirtless chest, his arms wrapped firmly around her waist.

"Thank you" she whispered

"For what?" He asked

"Being here. Today. Everyday. I really needed you, so thank you"

"Erin, I'm here no matter what. I love you"

"I love you too" she spoke as she leaned up to kiss him quickly.

"Er, we can't do this right now" he spoke

"I know. I promise you though, we will be together. Nadia told me that you and me were inevitable" she whispered "I tried to ignore it, but she's right. You and I, we belong together Jay. I just, I need to get better before I can do..us"

"I know. I'm still not going anywhere though" he promised

"Good" she replied "you know, everything that's happened has just emphasised what I already knew. Life is short, and we shouldn't worry about all the material things. Family is what matter. Not just the family were born with, but the ones we choose for ourselves. Voight, intelligence, teddy, you. You're all my family, and I know that I have you to get through this. That's all I need"

Jay kissed her hair once more as she snuggled into him and they drifted off the sleep.

They knew things were far from perfect, but they'd get there. It would get better. One day.

**A/N: ok, so the ending was kinda abrupt but I wanted to finish it before I overdid the story. I'm so upset over Nadia's death and I can't believe she had to die like that, she didn't deserve it AT ALL. Hopefully Voight, Jay and the rest of CPD can helper in pull through. I'm also worried for how Platt will react since she was close to Nadia too. **

**I'm really nervous for what's going to happen in the rest of the season. The creators/directors and others have spoken in interviews about how not only will lindsay be questioning her career path, but also that linstead will have some decisions to make in the following episodes. I hope you liked what I did here, let me know what you thought. **

**\- maddie :)**


End file.
